Feed Your Head Archive: 3/1/2010

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Performance Review

In the real world, Chief Executives are fired and hired based on performance. Last year, a CEO retired. When he took office, that CEO rolled up his sleeves and got to work. He didn't spend a lot of time complaining and explaining; he got things done. When he took office in 2001, the country was in the middle of the greatest loss of wealth in its history: the NASDAQ had dropped to less than half of it's peak value in 2000. That CEO left us safe and presided over an economy that grew over 5% per year on average. However, after 7 years of economic improvement, the retiring CEO left us amidst another great recession.

In 2008, the people of the United States, given two questionable choices, picked the candidate who was the best looking, spoke in cliches and platitudes, and promised the most even if he never detailed the how. Despite having been a part of the histrionics surrounding the bailout of banks, auto companies, insurance companies, and mortgage companies to stave off the "imminent collapse of our financial system," our new CEO now tells us "no one knew how bad it really was." Now, in charge for over a year, he never tires of telling us "it was like that when I got here"; a true graduate of Homer Simpson's School for Success.

It has been my experience that a CEO hired to re-direct a floundering ship fixes or divests failing programs before implementing new initiatives. True to his lack of experience and ability, our new CEO has chosen to implement new initiatives as the failed programs continue to sap vitality from our country. He tells us he was elected to address the difficult problems: universal health insurance, the global warming of CO2, and the elimination of the secret ballot.

The greatest difficulty with these problems is that they are not problems. The vast majority of Americans have minor complaints about health insurance and no desire for this CEO's universal program. Global warming is, at best, a tool of the misanthrope as the reduction of CO2 can only be accomplished by the suppression of development in the third world or by a drastic reduction in global population and is unlikely to have any effect on global climate change anyway. And the elimination of the secret ballot is the elimination of democracy and the implementation of thugocracy.

The difficult problems that urgently need to be addressed are: social security, medicare, and medicaid. When Homeland Security is preempted by the Justice department, NASA no longer has a space program but is a weather research organization instead of the NOAA, and the EPA distributes transportation development funds instead of the Transportation Department, there are also problems there. Finally, the programs that need divestiture are Amtrak, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Sallie Mae, and the Post Office.

In the real world, a CEO who makes excuses, blames his predecessor for existing problems, and institutes programs without promise would be immediately removed from office. We will have to wait. In the meantime, it behoves us to delay, impede, and replace those we can. We need to start in November of 2010 by replacing the worst representatives and finish in November 2012 by removing this CEO.

This CEO has earned an F and shows no sign of improving.


10 Worst Legislators

  • Nancy Pelosi
  • Harry Reid
  • Barney Frank
  • John Murtha (deceased)
  • David Price
  • Maxine Waters
  • Henry Waxman
  • Barbara Boxer
  • Alan Grayson
  • Charles Rangle
  • Sheila Jackson Lee
All numbers rounded to simplify comparison


Homogeneity: Free Market Bacon vs. Centrally Planned Lox

Here to Help: When a Joke is NOT a Joke

The Fix is In: Turning Japanese

The Paper Lab: Bad Scientists and Bad Science

The Emperor's New Clothes: Laid Bare

A Clean Slate: A Case AGAINST Precedent

Making New Arrangements: Back To Basics

Mad As Hell: Time To Clean House

Slow Learners: Dumb Or Dishonest?

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